Saturday, January 12, 2008

I am reading through 1 Samuel and the ashamed thing is that I am starting to identify with King Saul. First, Saul is waiting for Samuel to show up to bless a battle. When Samuel is late, Saul goes ahead and offers a sacrifice. What was so wrong with that. He wanted God's blessing on the battle and it looked like Samuel wasn't going to show. Honestly, I probably would have done the same thing.

I think the issue is that God had made it sure that we do things on His terms. Saul wanted to do things on his terms. I think I am the say way. Call it relevance, or personality or whatever. I do the same thing. "God, answer my prayer on my timeline." I prayed that basic thing this morning in bed. My heart is crooked because I STILL want God to cater to me, even if it is for the purpose of serving him.

Monday, September 03, 2007


So last week I go out to the lake to do some wakeboarding with my wife and friends. If you read this or know me at all then you know that this is usually the highlight of my week. The afternoon started out well I got up and even rode switch (opposite foot forward) for a while. I got back in the boat feeling good about the progress I have made over the past three years. After letting some other people go, I got back in the water. The thing is...I couldn't get up. I must have tried 15 more times and try as I might, I couldn't get up. Not since the first time I went wakeboarding have I had this much problem. I have gotten up at least a hundred times in my life and all of the sudden I was robbed of any ability to do so. This is the first time in my life this has happened to me. I felt like such a failure. Now I have this curse over my head until I get up again. I keep questioning myself, "Will I EVER get up again?" I know this sounds mellow dramatic (and I am), but this has really affected me. I guess it's been a while since I have really failed at something I have cared about. I have failed at golf...don't care. I have failed at chemistry...don't care. I have failed in many areas, but usually I just don't care. But this is different. I want to be good and have performed up to my standards until last week.

The funny thing is that being a failure isn't all that uncommon. My humanity screams failure at all sides. I failed to stop for a homeless guy. I failed to show patience at my high school friends on Sunday. I failed to read my bible this morning. Failure points me not to myself, but to the Person who makes something of me and my failures. It's a miracle I can catch a football at all. It's a miracle I can be a good husband. A man named Paul once said, "I will boast of my weaknesses, so that Jesus can be proved strong (my translation)." So, here is my confession. I am weak and I am a failure. If any good comes from my personhood. It's because Jesus is that great!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

original video

response from random people

response by believers

Saturday, July 28, 2007


So, these past few weeks I have been running a ministry marathon of sorts. We had an awesome time in Seattle. I was again reminded that God is among the poor and in the margins. Seattle is a beautiful town. I am so glad I got to see the ocean (man how I have missed it).

All this week I haven't had a chance to think through what God is doing in my life. I am learning to be comfortable with who I am. On the seattle trip we had some great people helping us (Funky, Bubba, Marcus, and the gang). Our students really connected to them, which is great. I suffered a bit from envy, because these guys were way cooler than me.
In ministry, the coolness factor is always haunting you. The lie Satan tells youth ministers is "the cooler you are, the more kids come to Christ". Yes, I admit that I accept that lie sometimes.

to all my high school friends: Comparison doesn't necessarily leave after you graduate. You still have to wrestle with where you find your security and worth.

I don't know where I am going with this except I realize that it used to be much more devastating to me when I felt like I was being traded up for someone cooler. That is comforting to me. I am still bummed a bit, but it doesn't faze me in the same way. I hope that is because I am allowing God to speak into my life and heart. It reminds me of a line from an old hymn "My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness." That's my hope, not in my abilities, but in Jesus.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Kilts and Klingons

Specialty groups. They are every where in society. Last week I went to two different events for people who specific events...a Scottish festival and a star trek concert. For each group there is a lingo, appropriate dress, legends, heros and other cultural artifacts.

I have been thinking about how no one is reaching out to these people. We have ministries to Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Atheists, businessmen, athletes, punks, skaters...etc. What about the Trekkies? What about missionaries to the scifi fans or manga fans? What about history buffs. Paul said that he had become all things to all people.

When we become missionaries, we learn a culture and try to intersect Christ with those people. We do that with Muslims, why not Trekkies. I don't know what a trekkie church would look like. I don't know what a manga church would look like. I do know that Jesus would be glorified if it happened.

I would like to disc golf ministry. Just go to the courses, get to know people and share Jesus. That would be my sub group. Anyone wanna join? Anyone wanna start their own. What would it be like?

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Follow Me

I have been reading Bonhoeffer's "The cost of discipleship". Great book by the way! He makes a point that the first and last things Jesus says to Peter is, "Follow Me". In seminary we learn that there is emphasis placed on Primacy (what happens or is said first), recency (what happens or is said last), and repetition. It is amazing that Christ's first and last words are the same. They are a call to follow. This is clearly important. Indeed, that is what Peter did. He followed in Christ's footsteps. As I have been meditating on this, I realize that Jesus' calling to Peter is the same calling for us today. He's not calling us to a dogma or set of religious beliefs. He's not calling us to a religion. Jesus is calling you and me to follow Him. To care for the things that Jesus cares about. To fight for what Jesus would fight for. To serve in the way that Jesus served. To love whole heartedly and to ultimately sacrifice all for His sake. Maybe that's what Jesus meant when He said that He was the "Way". The Way, meaning a path or route. How can we know the way that brings life unless we follow the only person who can get us there?

Peter answered the call. He dropped everything he had to follow Jesus. Peter follow Him to the grave (church history says he was crucified upside down).

Will you answer the call of Jesus in your life? Will you follow Jesus? Will you follow the way, the truth and the life?

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

check out this site. It's letters from people who have left the church. Pretty Post Secret-ish.