Monday, September 03, 2007

Failing

So last week I go out to the lake to do some wakeboarding with my wife and friends. If you read this or know me at all then you know that this is usually the highlight of my week. The afternoon started out well I got up and even rode switch (opposite foot forward) for a while. I got back in the boat feeling good about the progress I have made over the past three years. After letting some other people go, I got back in the water. The thing is...I couldn't get up. I must have tried 15 more times and try as I might, I couldn't get up. Not since the first time I went wakeboarding have I had this much problem. I have gotten up at least a hundred times in my life and all of the sudden I was robbed of any ability to do so. This is the first time in my life this has happened to me. I felt like such a failure. Now I have this curse over my head until I get up again. I keep questioning myself, "Will I EVER get up again?" I know this sounds mellow dramatic (and I am), but this has really affected me. I guess it's been a while since I have really failed at something I have cared about. I have failed at golf...don't care. I have failed at chemistry...don't care. I have failed in many areas, but usually I just don't care. But this is different. I want to be good and have performed up to my standards until last week.

The funny thing is that being a failure isn't all that uncommon. My humanity screams failure at all sides. I failed to stop for a homeless guy. I failed to show patience at my high school friends on Sunday. I failed to read my bible this morning. Failure points me not to myself, but to the Person who makes something of me and my failures. It's a miracle I can catch a football at all. It's a miracle I can be a good husband. A man named Paul once said, "I will boast of my weaknesses, so that Jesus can be proved strong (my translation)." So, here is my confession. I am weak and I am a failure. If any good comes from my personhood. It's because Jesus is that great!

posted by Kevin @ 9:29 PM 0 Comments